Captain Howdy
Most of you probably don't remember Mr. Doody, but those 48 freckles (one for each state) were the bright spot on NBC from the time we got a TV in January 1948 until Clarabelle finally talked and said, "Goodbye, kids" in September, 1960. I remember being glued to the screen as Buffalo Bob would ask, "Say kids, What time is it?" and we would all yell, "It's Howdy Doody time!" It was the politically incorrect Chief Thunderthud who brought us the Bart-jacked "Kawabonga." Oh, those were happier times when we only had to worry about mutual atomic self-destruction, enlisting to die 5000 miles from home for an ego-driven cause to police the world, or the repression of any liberal ideas (like civil rights) by the return from the brink of hell caused by the first great depression and the second great war. A father could rule his house with an iron fist and mom's only release from the hellish normality was the liquor cabinet. Help us Billy Graham!
The power of Christ compels you...
Labels: Billy Graham, Exorcist, Howdy Doody, liquor, Simpsons
posted by Aaron at 5/03/2006 12:30:00 AM
3 Comments:
Nice one. That was borderline scathing. I can tell something pissed you off about that, but i can't tell which point it was. none the less, some of our greatest americans found refuge in the liquor cabinet...Hemmingway, Roosevelt, Jimmy Durante, Billy Carter (Not SO Great), Babe Ruth and the entire cast of Cheers. Hell, i am half in the bag right now. Just Kidding! it is 10am and i am at work. they made me promise not to drink on the job anymore. Which is the exact reason i invented the shoe flask. basically you soak your shoe in scotch and suck on it all day. Sure it tastes terrible, but have you tried really cheap scotch? the foot odor really makes it pop.
It's amazing how history repeats itself, eh? Maybe a little repression will wake people up. More likely it will kill them.
You better patent that shoe flask thing. Maybe you should try a sweat band soaked in everclear. For the headband it would be like a subcutaneous absorption right into your brain and with the wrist bands you would have the oral ingestion to complement. You would have to say you just came from the gym, but it's easier to explain than sucking on your shoe.
That is true, it is hard to give a logical explanation as to why you have your shoe in your mouth. but i figue that any sensical person that sees another person sucking on a shoe would be more inclined to get away from that person as soon as possible without talking to them at all. i mean, this is a guy sucking on his own shoe. his life has obvioulsy not turned out the way he wanted it to. philosophically speaking, he zigged when he should have zagged.
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