Scientology
Dang it, someone already invented my new religion. I was checking out their website, and it was like they read my mind or something. This is so freakin' weird. I figured that I would write a few books, start a cult, get a few Hollywood elites to sell it, make some movies that espoused my ethic, then BAM! I could turn everyone into hamsters and end all of the world's problems (I will explain this in another post), but someone else has already corralled all the Thetans. If only I were the 8th Dynamic - Infinity, then My words would command all.You would have loved life as a hamster, but when I came to this revelation (that someone had hijacked my movement), my tone scale dropped to a measly 1.2. This is just one step above covert hostility and I'm not sure that I'll ever recover. I guess I'm just going to have to invent a mini-portable electropsychometer (RAZR or mini-IPOD size) and make a million dollars. Then I'll be happy.
You'll see Mr. L. Ron Hubbard.
posted by Aaron at 4/08/2006 02:05:00 AM
2 Comments:
I'm sure you've heard this old joke:
"If scientologists really can predict the future, then why is their religon so crummy?"
I think that's how it goes.
I think that's actually a Mormon joke, but it's probably more applicable to Scientology. But here at Nothingness, we don't condone any kind of religious or ethnic slurs, so consider yourself doubly chastised, Veggie-ta!
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