Get thee behind me

We have a new reason to hide behind God. "Which God", you ask? The answer is - Any God. - LINK
If we don't want people to hate or distrust us, then we must come up with a belief system that includes a bunch of superstitious mumbo-jumbo. We can use this as an excuse to destroy the rest of the world that doesn't agree with us. I'm proposing one that requires you to play video games all day Sunday. It's an improvement on that "day of rest" thing. Also, if we could figure out a way to use beer in a ceremony, it would attract a lot more members. This would be a gateway ceremony to the higher orders that use wine, then whiskey, crack and finally heroin. If we could tie our banking industry to this new religion we would get some good tax deductions. We could create a new stock exchange down in Texas where people have real ethics and then skim off a percentage for the church. If we only hire laborers and contractors from the new religion, this will eliminate the immigration problem (unless they want to join the church).

Maybe I could be God?